I don't have it all figured out and I probably won't, but life has so much to offer, I'd be a fool not to try. We all won something. It's a ticket to life. 


"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning how to dance in the rain." ~Annonymous


Thanks for the inspiration. 

Let's Catch Up!

"Have you caught up on what you have missed?"
"Are you happy with campus life?"
"Gone to a lot of parties?"

These are just some of the questions Salen, my younger sister asked me over a three-hour-phone-call, a new record of us talking that long on the phone thus far. We barely talked for 20 minutes over the phone. Perhaps, it’s because we're apart? Not really. We've been apart before. She was in Oregon for about 4 months while I was in MD, starting my freshman year in college. We just didn't have a lot to talk about.

We are sisters and like other sisters, we're extremely comfortable around each other -- comfortable in a way that we could easily be mad at each other. So comfortable, we didn't give high value on our presence together. We never stopped to think, "what if she's not here tomorrow -- at another place or just not here on this Earth anymore? Would my life still be normal? Would I miss her? If so, what would I miss about her? Wait, what's her FAVORITE COLOR?" All of a sudden, I contemplate about all these questions and so many more -- our good times, as well as bad ones and possibly the most embarrassing question, "do I really know my sister?" I don’t like clichés, but here’s one that I value: never take anything for granted. The downside of this cliché is that it’s almost always emphasized after a tragic event that rips a loved one away from a person or family.

Marked as the worst single act of terrorism on American soil, the events of Sept. 11, 2001 claimed thousands of innocent people and have inflicted pain and suffering on many thousands of the victim's family members and friends. This year marks ten-year anniversary of the attacks. In the days leading up to the anniversary, numerous personal stories related to the attacks have made national headlines. Peace is more omnipresent with time. Many people come together as a group, community, and as a nation to remember the victims, support those who lost their loved ones, and commemorate those who courageously put their lives out there to save others. More are aware and understand about the discrimination that some of our fellow friends, neighbors, and people have experienced and continue to face as a result of the tragedy. Moreover, this anniversary reminds us to appreciate the important people in our lives, for life is too short. No one knows when one will be gone for good or not.

I surely took time for granted. It didn't hit me until Salen exclaimed, "let's catch up!" This sounds like my best friends' line when we are so far behind on each others’ lives; we’re so excited to catch up. Blame the super long driving hours from MD to Canada and the Pacific Ocean that separates the States and Cambodia. Why does Australia have to be so down south? Perhaps, I should blame the ridiculously expensive airfare, but why are we all over the world at the first place? Another thing to ponder! When I heard that from Salen, I thought that was my best friend who was the closest in distance to me, yet I didn't realize it was necessary to catch up. After all, we lived under the same roof and saw each other every day. I didn't regret the past, but I'm glad she blurted out that line because it helped us connect both of the good and bad experiences we had together as we grew up into a long conversation --three hours and six minutes to be exact--that was very meaningful. More importantly, it serves as a great start for many more to come. Catching up doesn't have to be that long, it can be simple and short as this one:

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh!" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you."
-A.A. Milne

Wait, what about Salen's favorite color? I'm glad I didn't have to ask her that. It's GREEN. To the question if I do really know my sister: just like change, learning is constant.

Salin N.

First dot

“Congratulations!  You’re not perfect!

It’s ridiculous to want to be perfect anyway.  But then, everybody’s ridiculous sometimes, except perfect people.  You know what perfect is?  Perfect is not eating or drinking or talking or moving a muscle or making even the teensiest mistake. Perfect is never doing anything wrong – which means never doing anything at all.  Perfect is boring!  So you’re not perfect!  Wonderful!  Have fun!  Eat things that give you bad breath!  Trip over your own shoelaces!  Laugh!  Let somebody else laugh at you!  Perfect people never do any of those things.  All they do is sit around and sip weak tea and think about how perfect they are.  But they’re really not one-hundred-percent perfect anyway.  You should see them when they get the hiccups!  Phooey!  Who needs ‘em?  You can drink pickle juice and imitate gorillas and do silly dances and wear funny hats and be as imperfect as you please and still be a good person.  Good people are hard to find nowadays.  And they’re a lot more fun than perfect people any day of the week.”  ~ Stephen Manes

I was asked by a dear friend of mine why I decided to blog.  If blogging was just a way to jot down my thoughts and experiences so that I could look back, I don't know, 80 years from now (yes, I'm planning to blow out a hundred candles on my birthday cake, with a mouth full of healthy teeth, real or false), I could have just done that in a diary out of the public eye.  I thought blogging would  be a good outlet for me to express my ideas and share my experiences, which I have to be honest are not many thus far, perspectives on the world around me, and things that I care about.  I'm aware that no one is perfect.  I'm not always right, and my ideas aren't always practical.  Through blogging, I hope to receive constructive criticisms, new ideas, and differing opinions that I can learn and grow from.         


Currently living in the United States, I was born and raised until I was fourteen in Cambodia, a country in South-East Asia.  Adjusting to the new place was a daunting task, but like any other hard time, you learn and grow from it.  It was difficult at first to come to terms that I had to leave a place, where I called home for so long and made so many lasting friendships, to another I was so unfamiliar with.  I felt a struggle between holding back and moving on.  It has taken me some time before I found a balance and realized that I could have the best of both worlds.  I learn to embrace where I come from and never forget the ones that I love.  I’ve had the opportunities to visit Cambodia twice and I had a blast, spending times with my family and friends over there.  I love traveling and being open to new things, but the feeling of coming home after being away for a long time was always unique and so dear to my heart.  At the same time, I grow to love life in the States.  I appreciate America’s core values in promoting freedom and opportunities for its people.  I think it would be biased to compare the U.S. with Cambodia, as they lie on the opposite ends on the development spectrum.  Just as everyone has their own problems, each country has its own issues, but it’s in the American people’s favor that they’re given the rights to express their voices freely.  It’s the same in Cambodia, well at least the law says so; it’s a different story from a practical sense.  People usually watch what they say in public when the topic revolves around politics.  I thought it’s amusing and peculiar at the same time to hear a few of my Cambodian friends, who are law students couldn’t help starting a conversation about politics, but ended up reminding themselves not to go too deep about it in public.  After years of war and civil unrest, Cambodia has been struggling to recover.  An expansion in garment sector, agriculture, and tourism has helped improve the country’s economy.  Nonetheless, like any other developing country, poverty and corruption are still ones of the main problems that plague the nation.  There is an unequal distribution of wealth, where a super-wealthy few exerts power over many others.  Among the few, there are some who start from scratch and work their way up, and I truly admire their strong will and determination, but there are also many who rise to the top of the social and economic ladder through connections and corruption.  I’ve noticed a large proportion of the population struggles to overcome the burdens of bad circumstances, most of which are consequences of social issues, including gender, class, and power relations.  Here are some of the issues that have caught my attention and made me concern about.  

Gender issues can’t be missed in Cambodia.  It’s so prevalent that you can single it out in a market.  It isn’t uncommon to find people grocery shop every day, as food freshness is highly valued.  I’m not exaggerating, but you can find almost everything fresh: fresh vegetables, fresh fruits, fresh fish, etc.  Living in America has taught me one lesson: freezer is not only recommended; it’s required.  Having consumed a large amount of frozen food so far, I can tell that freshness does make a difference in taste.  So, if you happen to be in Cambodia or have plans to visit there, take some time to savor what the market has to offer, and while you are there, observe the people around you.  I can assure you that anywhere you look, you’ll see women.  That’s the first thing I noticed when I went back to Cambodia.  Men were mostly merchants; I rarely saw men shopping for food.  Maybe I was young or maybe I was ignorant, I never noticed that the many years I lived over there.  In fact, I should have been more aware of this issue, as a member of my family has experienced it personally.  When I was in Cambodia, I always woke up early in the morning to go to the market with my grandmother.  Now, I understand why she appreciated me helping her hold the basket full of grocery.  It was heavy, but her smile always made me forget how heavy it was.  Back in Cambodia, my parents owned a business, and thus they both worked full time.  My maternal grandparents lived with us, and the housewife role was heavily placed on my grandmother.   Aside from complaining of not knowing what to make for us each day, I never recalled her complaining of her role as our caretaker.  She took it as an obligation rather than a choice.  After all, taking care of others and putting her family ahead of her was all she has done since she was a little girl.   From time to time, she would tell me pieces of her life stories.  Her parents arranged her into a marriage with my grandfather.  Initially, she was shunned by some of my grandfather’s relatives because she was from a poor family.  Class has always been a major definition of a person’s identity in Cambodia.  She worked from dawn to dusk to support the family financially and resumed a woman’s duty as a housewife afterwards.  With her quick, warming smile, one would never guess what she’s had to go through in her life.  My grandmother has lived through war, lost children to the genocide during the Khmer Rouge regime, worked extremely hard to support her family, and gone through enduring tasks in fulfilling obligations as a woman.  She’s been a devoted Buddhist believer and her ultimate goal is to attain Nirvana, the state free from suffering and individual existence as it breaks the endless rebirth cycle of reincarnation according to the Buddhism belief.  I usually joked with her that even though I was doubtful about reincarnation, I’d rather be born again than disappear into nothingness.  Her response was short.  She’s “chha-et,” a Cambodian term which refers to being full after eating too much and can also be used to indicate that one is worn-out and weary after having to put up with so much, of life.  Social reality of the world is highly constructed.  It’s saddening that the Cambodian society is mainly constructed on traditional values that place low values on girls. Things are definitely getting better, but there is still a lot to be done.  I think it’s important to teach young boys and girls about the importance of gender equality and that not every norm is right, so they can analyze critically before accepting any norms.

Human trafficking, particularly sex trafficking is another issue that I’m concerned about; it’s one of the fastest growing criminal businesses in the world.  Countries in South-East Asia, mainly Cambodia, Thailand, and Vietnam have been put under spotlight for a booming sex tourism industry.  What people don’t know is that most of the demand comes from men in the local community.  The cycle of trafficking in the region has been perpetuated by the combination of low value placed on girls and the stigma associated with victims of the sex trade.  It’s sad that I did not learn about a wider scope of this issue in my country until I came to America after I happened to pick up “the Road of Lost Innocence,” a book by Somaly Mam, a former sex slave turned activist against human trafficking.  The majority of the girls working in the sex industry in South-East Asia are mostly from underprivileged families in the countryside.  The lack of education and financial struggle cause some family members to coerce and sell their girls to brothels.  The lack of rule of law makes it easy for pimps to kidnap young girls from the countryside to work as sex slaves in the capital city and Cambodian borders.  I am frustrated at how the powerless are abused and taken advantage of.  I can’t help thinking to myself that I could be one of the girls kidnapped or coerced if I were born into a poor, uneducated family in Cambodia.  Although this horrendous crime is one of the biggest crimes against humanity, it is not often talked about because of the stigma associated with it.  As part of UMD Students Ending Slavery, a student organization that raises awareness on the issue of Human trafficking at University of Maryland, we hosted a screening called "Very Young Girls," a documentary filmed in New York city that focused on the trafficking of teenage girls and their struggles to escape the underground sex industry in order to have a real chance at life.  Often times, when we talk about human trafficking, we think it's an issue that happens only in developing countries, and that prostitution is mainly by choice in the U.S. That's not necessarily true, as human traffickers use many methods (psychological manipulation being the main one to target young girls) to manipulate women, children, and men into prostitution and forced labor each year in America.  I have learned over the years that any one of us can make a difference.  Talking to others to raise awareness about the issue is a good place to start.  One may be doubtful about trying to make a difference when the issue is so huge and there are so many victims out there.  I hope a Hawaiian parable, adapted from Half the Sky by Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn, reminds us that a series of small differences is necessary to bring about any changes.            

A man goes out on the beach and sees that it is covered with starfish that have washed up in the tide. A little boy is walking along, picking them up and throwing them back into the water.

            “What are you doing, son?” the man asks. “You see how many starfish there are? You’ll never make a difference.”

            The boy paused thoughtfully, and picked up another starfish and threw it into the ocean.

            “It sure made a difference to that one,” he said.

What do you think?

See. Listen. Think. Write.